Xhitra BevinamarXd | Author
I'm 21 years old.I'm not ready for the marriage.My mom have seen a man who's really good,but I have a dream to persue ahead. So how do I deal with this stressful situation? It's really driving me crazy. Please help.
2023-11-15 14:29:59

Nikita Jain | Counselling Psychologist
Hi Chitra, It might be difficult to take decisions when we are consumed by multiple things in our mind. Try the following steps that might help:1. Make a list - Firstly understand your needs, what your inner self wants to be. Make a list of things that you actually want vs dont want in next 5 years. Example- I want to get married I want to become an entrepreneur I want to buy my own car etc; anything that first to your mindVSdont want to become a housewife Dont want to have dictating partner Dont want to leave my city etc, anything that comes to your mind.2. Communicate: clearly your needs list with your parents and the partner you chose (in case of getting married)3. Seek support: from your closed ones -family/friends/spouse any; to help you in fulfilling your list. 4. Stick to your plan: focus on achieving them. Achievement will boost your self esteem 5.Self Care- take small breaks and reward your self with activities you enjoy. Ex- Workout,Painting,travel.
2023-11-15 14:56:39

Dr. Uma Maheswari S | Psychiatrist
Do you think you can explain to your mother or the person about your situation and your expectations?
2023-11-23 21:47:10

Deeksha Sethi | Clinical Psychologist
Hi Chitra Can understand your delimma Sit with your mother & when you feel the appropriate time Let her know your opinion with some logic and try to understand her perspective and revert back with some practical explanation about how much important it is to be prepared for real life situations & being financial independent.Hope it will help and for more inputs you can have a personal session.All the best!
2023-12-22 12:49:15

Shruti Aggarwal | Clinical Psychologist
Hi Chitra It can be frustrating when you think that people who should understand you the most are the ones who least understand. I urge you to consider your & your family's bio-socio-economic reasons why your mom is pressed to convince you to settle down currently. Are there any financial limitations at your family's end, are you raised by a single mom, is your family dealing with a health calamity, etc. You are 21 years old, and you may still have some time to master your professional game and develop your overall personality. Consider what I have suggested above, try and empathize with your mother which will help you to minimize your acuity of un-required emotions. meanwhile know that no one can get you married without your will. Decluttering your emotional mess will help you gain thought clarity and focus to master yourself. Constructive actions in life towards your goals will show your mom that you have it in you to become independent & a strong woman.
2023-12-22 15:06:35

Meena Mudaliyar | Counselling Psychologist
Choose your priority dont forget its never always what is right and wrong in alot of situation its whats possible and whats not
2024-02-13 23:00:45

Shiksha Jadhav | Clinical Psychologist
HelloYou can talk to your parents carefully and if it is not worked then you must talk to that person who is going to marry you so he can understand your dream and the result will be he will support you in the future or he will move on into this situation.
2024-02-14 09:57:41

Archana Sharma | Clinical Psychologist
Dear Chitra,I can understand this is very stressful situation at the same time you will have to take your complete charge by accepting yourself an adult independent growing woman. You can politely ask some time from your family to interact with the boy, there is a possibility that you will be able to pursue your dream with his support. Logically calculate the situation and take its complete responsibility.Archana SharmaConsultant Psychotherapist &Psychotherapist - RCI
2024-02-16 12:06:34

Vandana Sharma | Counselling Psychologist
Hi Chitra, it would be good to meet the guy and talk openly about the dream you have to pursue ahead. He could actually turn out to be the right guy who would be good support too. But if your discussion with him doesn't go right, put it forward to your mom.
2024-02-19 10:06:42

Uma | Counselling Psychologist
Have you met the boy your mom has seen.?Any specific reason for not being ready for marriage, besides your dream of pursuing your career and future?To deal with this stressful study the why why analysis of your problem and then we can find a solution to it.
2024-02-23 13:51:04

Anureet Lamba | Counselling Psychologist
Hi, you may have to explore the option of 1. Strictly saying no to marriage and take a stand in front of your parents. Or 2. You can see how the boy and his family are, how supportive they will be for your career. We can have a session to know more about your situation and how you can navigate to resolve this conflict.
2024-02-26 11:19:53

Dr Shalini Gupta | Counselling Psychologist
Ask your mother to talk to me
2024-03-24 10:26:28

Dr Shalini Gupta | Counselling Psychologist
You can take an appointment for my sessions
2024-03-24 11:38:04

Aishik Karmakar | Counselling Psychologist
It's understandable to feel stressed about this situation. Have an honest conversation with your mom about your dreams and your feelings regarding marriage. Express your desire to focus on your goals. It's important to set clear boundaries about your readiness for marriage and your personal aspirations. Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist who can provide support and guidance during this time, or opt for a group counseling session with you and your mom. For your well being engage in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy. Finally, remind yourself of your long-term dreams and take steps each day towards achieving them.
2024-06-21 19:20:28

Shivani Degwekar | Counselling Psychologist
I think, you can speak to your mother clearly about it, or you can take help of your near relative (like sister or masi)who will explain your point to mother.
2024-07-01 22:23:58

Sajili Batra | Counselling Psychologist
Hi , You should explain it to her that you are not ready for it and need your time.Tell her that you respect her and her decision but career is very important nowadays and it is very important to be Independent. Explain her in such a way that she doesn't feel disrespected and on the other hand understands you . Also , tell her that once you are self sufficient you would surely get better men.
2024-08-18 02:45:16

Shriya Rai | Counselling Psychologist
Have an open discussion with your parents that right now you are too young to get married and they should give you some more years for you to develop a confident personal and professional life of yourself. Give them a set time for e.g. 4 years and tell them to wait for at least that long, after that you will comply with their request.having open communication and making your parents aware of your thoughts is very important.
2024-08-21 13:00:52

Dr Sapna Zarwal | Counselling Psychologist
Communicate openly with your mom about your dreams and your current readiness for marriage. Emphasize your need to focus on your goals. Setting clear boundaries and seeking support from a therapist can help manage stress and find a balanced approach
2024-09-06 09:29:09